This time last year I'd recently completed my third marathon, was regularly going out for a quick half (marathon, not beer), running three or four times a week and thinking nothing of it. If I'd believed that in a year's time I'd be feeling accomplished by running 4.5km in one go it would have brought me to tears, to put it very lightly. And to be honest, over the last year, it has regularly brought me to tears. Tears of frustration, tears of anger, tears of pain.
I know this all sounds very dramatic, but try this: put your passion at the forefront of your mind - how it makes you feel, how you've worked to keep it alive, how it makes up such a huge part of your life. Now imagine your life without it. Just like that, it's gone and you can't imagine ever getting it back. I know I should be grateful that I ever got to achieve the things I did with my running, and I am. I know there are people that would give anything to do what I've done and be happy that they ever had the chance. The trouble is once you've had a taste of it you always want more.
I often look at my hydration pack hanging by the door, wondering when I'll get to use it again (I have strict rules in place that it can only be used for a minimum of ten miles). Ten miles! Three miles would be an achievement at the moment. And this is the sticking point. I'm comparing my progress to the Susy of 12 months ago:
The Susy that hadn't dislocated her knee and gone through surgery to have lumps of her meniscus removed.
The Susy that had the strength and stamina of someone who'd be regularly training for five years.
I'm not the same person I was then. I'm now in recovery mode. I'm learning more and more about the human body, what its limits are, and what keeps it strong and working as a whole. So it makes no sense whatsoever to compare my current achievements to what I used to be able to do.
Why, then, do people take it upon themselves to make comparisons with OTHER PEOPLE. There is a common theme among runners to focus on time and whether they measure up to what other people can do. Yes it's good to push yourself and improve your pace, providing you do it gradually, but there is little benefit punishing yourself for not being as fast as someone else. If I've realised that comparing myself to myself is completely useless, then comparing yourself to another human is surely even worse. Everything that has led you to where you are now is totally unique. Your age, your historical activity levels, your body composition, your previous injuries, and arguably most importantly, your mindset - it's all unique and it's all yours. You don't know other people's stories, what has led them to where they are and what obstacles they've overcome to get there. If you must bring comparison into the picture, try focusing on where you want to get to. Compare the current you with the ideal future you. What change can you make today to get you closer to this future you? Do loads of research, get advice from people who inspire you, be kind to yourself and make a plan.
Comentários